Is it Time to End Our Relationship?
It’s so hard to say, “Goodbye!”.
You have reached a point in this relationship where one of you or both of you are questioning if the relationship should come to an end. There are many factors that can contribute to a relationship’s demise. Today, we will explore some of those contributing factors to help you understand when you might want to walk away or get some professional support to address the negative factors keeping you both from having a healthy, sustainable relationship.
Now before we embark on this list, I will remind you that all situations have variables and considerations that are unique to each situation. After reading this list, if you are still uncertain of the fate of your relationship, contact our office for couples counseling to help address your needs. Below are eight signs that scream it may be time to walk away.
1. Any time you express a need, you are met with statements like, “You are being too needy” or “Naw, I’m not doing all that!” This is a clear concern in any relationship. Each partner deserves to feel safe within the relationship in order to have their needs addressed and steps taken to meet those needs.
2. You consistently feel like you are NOT SEEN in the relationship. Most days, you feel unheard and unimportant in the relationship. It feels pretty lonely most of the time, even when you are present with your partner.
3. There is physical, emotional, financial, verbal, and/or sexual abuse in the relationship. Abuse can look like insults, threats, constant contact (ex. excessive texting, calls, etc), isolation, intimidation, humiliation, or stalking behaviors. It is important to understand that abuse can be more than physical assault. If you are experiencing abuse, there is help available. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 24/7 call 800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.
4. You are getting your relationship needs met outside of the relationship. After failed attempts within the relationship, you started having an intimate or emotional connection with someone else to get your relationship needs met.
5. You aren’t able to be your authentic self in the relationship. You walk around trying to be someone different for your partner. You don’t feel comfortable being yourself and struggle with being who you think your partner needs you to be for the benefit of the relationship.
6. Your values and beliefs directly collide with your partner’s values and beliefs. This can look like a few different things, one being you are more traditional thinking in your relationship but your partner desires a more modern styled relationship. It can also look like you are a devout Christian, but your partner doesn’t believe in religious practices. It can be very difficult to find compromise if you have core beliefs and values which disconnect with your partners.
7. You honestly can’t forgive your partner for a past mistake (or mistakes) that your partner has made significant efforts to correct. Forgiveness is a process that takes time to effectively achieve in any relationship. However, without a true commitment to embark upon forgiveness, your relationship with forever be stuck in the mistake(s). If you are just unable to forgive the act after many attempts from your partner to change the behavior, your relationship may need to end.
8. One of you desires to be out of the relationship but is staying due to obligation. If anyone desires to be single but is feeling an obligation to stay due to promises made in the past, children, finances, etc. This is a recipe for an unhealthy connection.
If you and your partner are answering yes to any of these areas, it may be time to walk away from the relationship. However, if you and your partner both have a strong desire to work on these areas, couples counseling can help you both create a plan and work on the goal of a healthy relationship.
Contact LITTherapy today to get started on the work to repair your relationship or work on developing a healthier goodbye!
